Something That Actually Warrants A Blog Entry From Me

(All images that were made small for some reason when uploaded directly through here were now made links to the image instead.)

Just so readers know, this is not Zerayla. The author of this entry is me, Xean. Since I'm not a blogger, I asked if I could publish this rare occasion using her blog rather than create one. Now you understand the title, sort of. There are things that bother me -- like any human being -- but rarely ever to a far extent, especially not to publicize about. But one this has bothered me, yet it is not what I will be providing a lengthy discourse about. In short, what bothers me is knowing that a particular incident still remains unchanged in the minds of people, including those who claim to be objective. Note that objective does not mean a lack of ethics or morals. Objective scrutiny of what is right and wrong requires us to be Factual, Logical, and based on acceptable Principles.

One thing people forget about being factual is that we must gather absolutely ALL relevant information as possible. Since the incident has long gone, the purpose of this entry is not to reignite something. If that were the case, I'd do this for many eyes to see immediately elsewhere. But for the interested reader and myself, I'll be giving justice to the commonly missed rule of presenting all relevant information. This is not going to be me nagging, ranting, moaning and complaining or crying "Oh pity me, oh pity me, I've been made a victim!" like most people do. No, so biased readers beware.

At this point, even I would ask myself, "OK, what the heck are you talking about already?" You have a right to feel this way, but now listen to me that I am going into that now.

About a half-year ago, myself and two others became hated ones. Still doesn't bother me because I remain steadfast with my conclusions. Since most people who heard know what happened at the time of the incident, I'll recap the incident itself. In FFXI, a player named Myrrh did not get his YYR the day he planned because mostly I expressed to a shaking, worried Soulstar what he already felt but receded that Myrrh was not to be fully trusted.

The timing is critical: were I to have premeditated a plan to have Myrrh be "ninja-lotted" then there would be no doubt that was what I wanted. What happened that evening as I just arrived home was I saw my brother logged into FFXI on the Xbox360. He and other LS members were in Ro'Maeve helping Soulstar and Myrrh to camp Shikigami to get the YYR. So I get settled in and log into the game myself for a static party that night shortly after, I hear my brother saying that the YYR dropped. I look at the TV screen and see that Myrrh lots. I observe for about 30 seconds and see that Soulstar isn't lotting. So I ask "Why isn't Soulstar lotting? Is he AFK?". Let's start tracking time here; it takes a few minutes for items from the treasure pool to automatically go into someone's inventory. I watch for another 15 seconds or so and Soulstar still has not lotted, passed, or even said a word. Now I'm wondering why because he could lose the item, which up to this point all I knew was that they talked about getting it together on our LS forum. With a minute almost gone, I send Soulstar a /tell asking if he's there. There's a minor delay until he replies saying that he is. So I ask him why he has not lotted yet because he should be lotting. After a short discussion in which he is telling me he can't and me asking why, he tells me that Myrrh asked to be the first person in line to get a YYR. This proposal was presented in-game when they grouped up to camp -- it was nowhere on the LS forum. I expressed to Soulstar that proposal was unfair since Soulstar earned the right to a YYR for his work on following the ToD (time of death). I finished by saying, taking into account the suddenness of the proposal and lack of reply to Soulstar's forum post about a plan for cooperation, that I wouldn't trust Myrrh. The clock is still ticking. My conversation with Soulstar ends. I'm still in party. Soon after, he lots. That fires up Jyakotsu, who lashes out at Soulstar. As usual, Myrrh stands behind Jyakotsu also taking whatever shots he can too. The item drops to Soulstar and they're still going at him.

Up to this point, I don't have any screenshots of game conversations. I only saw what was being said in the alliance against Soulstar through my brother who was playing on the Xbox360. The Xbox360 can take pictures, but not with chat logs included. And since I was in party, my chat log pushed the conversation with Soulstar out of memory. So unfortunately I don't have screenshots of those conversations to give quotes verbatim. I can hear the haters and accusers already applauding. Nonetheless, neither I nor anyone else can prove or disprove what I have said. You either believe me or you don't. But I assure you that the accusers would never be able to give you this level of comprehension. Case in point being when Jyakotsu could not even provide oral explanation for his best RL friend (who will remain unnamed here), who said he was wanting to mediate between me and Jyakotsu so he did not require visual proof from either of us. Explanations were to be sufficient, something that Jyakotsu could not even half-provide. Rather, he always said to "look at the forum". When he told him to "look at the forum", he is talking about the Flame topic on the QCDN forum he created against Soulstar, Zerayla and me. No one wants to look at an old topic, seriously. Here are images from that conversation showing how often he said to look at that old forum topic because he wouldn't explain things himself. I wonder if his best friend ever looked at the forum, but I'll go with saying that he didn't since he never has mentioned anything about his best friend Jyakotsu's aggressive and disrespectful rhetoric.

Anyways, let's retrace back to the time around the incident. I was getting sick of them bashing on Soulstar, so I sent Myrrh a tell. From this point on, I have some screenshots from that evening. The following is between Myrrh and I:

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/5107/menmyrrhp1hi7.png

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/2313/menmyrrhp2wh6.png

The first problem here is when Myrrh says "He spent one day here". Whether he spent a day or not is ultimately unimportant. Why? Well if you take a look at these following pictures, you will see that it was THANKS TO SOULSTAR that Myrrh even had a SHOT at Shikigami.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/6596/correctiontodji0.png

As you can clearly see, Soulstar corrected Myrrh about the ToDs. Were it not for his willingness to offer this information, Myrrh would have arrived at Shikigami too late every time. Was Soulstar obligated to offer this information? No, he wasn't, especially since there was a gap of time between the time he camped and the prior time that the would-be thief did. Let's think about this consequentially. If Soulstar had never given the correct timings, Myrrh would have not been camping Shikigami at the right times. But Soulstar could have kept the times for himself and asked the rest of us for help to get him the YYR. Just like we did for another our of members, without requiring the help of some SKY LS with NOTHING BUT high levels because thats what its intended for. This shows that Myrrh did not care about Soulstar correcting him. Soulstar was NEVER thanked for it. Myrrh only cared about Shikigami and the YYR. Looking back at the chat, he stated that they agreed that Myrrh would get the YYR. That's fine, but the post-incident accusations that him and Jyakotsu made that I was pretty much telling Soulstar to ninjalot the item was incorrect because, as I wrote earlier, I told Soulstar that he should lot based on his right to lot BEFORE he told me about the proposal that Soulstar made which he mistakenly agreed to. On our LS forum, Soulstar wrote utterly sincere apologies to Myrrh.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/3892/responsesoulyf0.png

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/4603/soulapology1sx5.png

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/94/soulapology2om8.png

I felt so sorry for him because he was pretty much brushed off. Myrrh called his apology "bullshit". It's at the bottom of his post here.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/4769/myrrhcallapologybullshilh7.png

So Soulstar did something he himself acknowledged he shouldn't have. But he apologized and he wanted to make up for it. He, Zerayla, and myself, the mainly accused, told him we would commit ourselves to helping Myrrh get his YYR. (Following pictures are what Zerayla and I said.) And it was not because anyone told us to.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/7337/zerapology1yv5.png

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/60/megoingtohelpjd6.png

Back to Myrrh's careless response to Soulstar. He compresses Soulstar's apology and calls it bullshit, then reflects the distrust against him onto Soulstar. Hmmm. Well anyways, take a look at that image again and read the first line. What does it say? "You may not trust me but Jya did and I had planned on helping him next". Oh no! Did Myrrh really say that? Well now we see the truth about the situation, don't we? Myrrh was never going to help Soulstar, because he planned to help Jyakotsu after getting his own YYR. I could quote that line all I wanted. But wait! Unlike some retard on QCDN called Tity? No, wait Tidy. Unlike such a fool, I wouldn't single out a quote and repeat it ten times over to use as proof, even though I'd really be taking it out of context. (I'm referring back to the QCDN flame topic that Jyakotsu made, in which Tidy quoted a chat log from Jyakotsu. He cut and paste a part of Jyakotsu's chat log, in which Jyakotsu said I made Soulstar ninjalot when I responded with an "I told him to". Yeah, I did tell him ... BEFORE he told me about the proposal that he agreed to. Regardless, the image was cut off with me quoted as saying "I told him to". Not even the entire chat log. It still does a good job of fooling all the idiots at QCDN, though. Someone might even see this and cut and paste that line by itself to post too, repeating a proven process.) So that quote alone doesn't say anything, because that's not what he meant. I followed by asking him who he was talking about, which you can see here.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/5939/whatreallywasmeantvk7.png

So what he really meant was that he was going to help Jyakotsu after Soulstar. BUT WAIT AGAIN! There is an inconsistency here. If we look back at Soulstar's apology post at the end of his first paragraph (the 2nd link out of 3), we see that he said he was happy when Myrrh said he wanted to help all of our LS's Summoners (two: Soulstar and Alianne) get a YYR. It helped Soulstar a bit in putting trust in Myrrh. But now Myrrh has made it obvious that he never intended to help Alianne with a YYR afterwards. Instead his buddy Jyakotsu, who never convened with any of our members on YYR help, was in truth going to be priority. Jyakotsu himself had a different perspective about the YYR camping. This was at the supposed "mediation" between him and me.Now this doesn't prove that Myrrh would never help Soulstar, but let's not be foolish by ignoring all the common indications. If you still disagree, then go learn some psychology, or observe people yourself. People follow patterns; that is why they do the same things that aren't good for them despite the thousands of examples that say otherwise. Despite all the little indications that compound the more there are that have been mentioned, the biggest one is pretty obvious but some people have either missed or choose not to consider. And it is this: Jyakotsu would never have had the "right" to post a flame topic against Soulstar, Zerayla, me and our LS as a whole if Myrrh were to have accepted the apology and never have denied any one of us from helping him. But Myrrh did deny any apologies and any help. We already know he called Soulstar's apology bullshit. But what about the next day? I logged my character off in Ro'Maeve, Shikigami's zone, with the intent to join Myrrh for his YYR. Soulstar too. No one was allowed. Myrrh ignored all of us. And that allowed him and his buddy Jyakotsu to go off ranting on QCDN to all the retards who heard them out. As you can see in the following picture, anyone from our LS was denied. Even those who were there the previous night and did nothing wrong.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/3517/img20070720180738hi4.png

Oh, but their alliance was full you say? Well first Soulstar said they "seem" to have a full alliance. "Seem" is the keyword. But let's say it was the case that they did have a full alliance. Firstly, the previous night, when Soulstar got the YYR, the alliance was not full. Remember, my brother was part of it so I saw. Secondly, that alliance had a number of members from our LS and some from Myrrh's Fury LS. If you look at the following screenshot, you'll see he is complaining about not getting enough responses from Fury to help him get a YYR.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/2276/myrrhcomplaint1fb5.png

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/6324/myrrhcomplaint2hp3.png

Finally, Myrrh did not have to get a full alliance (assuming it was full) to help him after hearing both from me and Soulstar that we would help. Oh but he couldn't trust us with actually doing that, you say? Well let's go with that. At the very LEAST, Myrrh could have responded to Soulstar and I when we logged on into the zone on time to camp the NM with him. But he didn't. Why? Because he was denying us. If he did not deny us, then that flame topic on QCDN would have been made null and void. But Myrrh let it continue. He wanted it to continue. While we, the accused, were telling him we would make up for it, him and Jyakotsu led the masses into their typical flaming retardation. Why did he do this? Well maybe I'll have to put the pieces together for you if you are either stubborn, dumb, or ignorant. After apologies and offerings of help made, what makes it just for Myrrh to continue allowing a hate topic existing against us? The fact that he didn't get his precious little YYR like he intended to? A lot of dumb people say that the apologies and the offerings of help don't matter. Now that's some real bullshit. So absolutely nothing can make up for it according to such people. For the rest who aren't so dumbheaded, that should have stopped Myrrh from letting it continue. But he didn't. Since he didn't get his damn YYR that he was only intending for himself so he can forget about Soulstar afterwards. Myrrh joined by posting lies in it himself as well. Look at the following image, it is from that topic.
http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/3014/myrrhliets9.png

Oh, look. Myrrh quoted Jyakotsu who said the very same thing I just explained here! Really, Jyakotsu? You would have never made the flame if we apologized? But we did apologize and you made the flame anyways! Oh, and the easily fooled masses applaud! You see, it is what Jyakotsu really wanted. He even lies to his own best friend about it. From the "mediation" we mentioned earlier:

And I was even denied explaining why he was lying.While this "mediation" (I keep using quotes because I knew nothing would come out of it) was happening, Jyakotsu asked that Myrrh join the conversation. At the end of these two pictures, you'll see his lie. After you read it, recall that he was not banned since he was still posting to us calling all the apologies bullshit. That's what he thought I was talking about anyways. I was really talking about the topic in which Soulstar posted the correct Shikigami schedule. Myrrh never said a word about doing things together like Soulstar said.

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/1396/myrrhsotherlieql2.png

Myrrh was quick to nag then left the conversation. Now you can see how easily they can lie and Myrrh can change sides when it gets him what he wants. That is what he is used to anyways. First he is complaining about an LS that was not at first willing to help him and was considering quitting that LS. But then this happens and he turns his back on our shell. He wins all the attention he needs and craves from everyone online. Congratulations, Myrrh.

That pretty much wraps up what I felt the need to write up. Or what I have remembered to write, anyways. Eventually, someone who is aware of this issue will come along and be enlightened. I don't need the sympathy, though. Knowing that someone has read the other side of the story to get the full truth is enough for me. But I am in no rush for that to happen, or to happen to a large degree at all. The incident has passed away, and frankly, I didn't really care. After the first evening of replying to a ton of hypocrites on QCDN, I decided to just stop wasting my time. If people are so easily willing to go off what one side says without really asking the other side all the right questions, then I let it be. I would rather not associate with people who can do that. So yeah, I didn't care enough for it to bother me. People left our LS, and I just thought "Go ahead". If you're like that, then you're not really a friend. So why be upset? Heh.

I'm still alive.

Well, i'm back from my holidays. I spent christmas with my bf Xean and we spent most of the month of December with his family in MX. It was definitely a good christmas, and one that i'll miss.

I'm finally back home, and have been for a bit so I have quite a lot to update. I'll start with the oldest stuff I can remember.

(ITS CAITSITH!!!!)

First there was the new expansion released "Wings of the Goddess". So far I haven't really gotten into the expansion much, mainly because SE hasn't worked on adding a lot to it just yet. Aside from acquiring all the "Maws" which are actually teleports that take you into the past of Vana'diel, i've only participated in an event called "Campaign" a few times.

(Going through my first Maw, which is the portal to the past)

(Exploring in the past o.o)

Campaign is kinda like a garrison event where you talk to an NPC and assisted by other players and several NPCs to fend off the zone from the beastmen who randomly attack. Sometimes the monsters that attack are easy, and other times they're a pain in the butt. The good thing about this is that you don't lose xp when you die though, and depending on certain things you do during the campaign you will be awarded some xp and "Sigil" points which is the expansion's version of "Signet".


Before leaving on holidays, I did manage to progress quite a bit. I had upgraded my Gallant Leggings to the +1 version thanks to my limbus shell KeitaroOmega. We're a small shell with members from KeitaroAeon and the social shell KeitaroPrime and we manage to do pretty well. Hopefully we'll get to try out Omega and Ultima in the month ahead, provided we can get more people to show up >_<

But because I got my +1 AF, it was time to go through my PLD AF quests again so that I could get the regular versions and store my set. I managed to get some help from my social shell TBH for the AF3 fight, and had a big turnout of people wanting to help. We took out both orcs pretty quickly =)


My Dynamis shell RidersOfRohan has also been doing great. Our roster is filling up fast, with experienced and devoted members! We've been able to go on a winning streak since fall, and have yet to lose a win. Right before christmas, we were focusing on getting everyone their regular cities wins, because we're going to start focusing on Northlands this year which is a big thing for our shell. In fact, tonight is our first Beaucedine run. I'm sure we'll do great, and even if we mess up we'll still laugh about it because thats just how our group is. Its probably due to the fact that the majority of our members are just casual players, and so if something goes wrong they don't get too upset because its not the end of the world and we know we can try again. I'm so glad to be involved with the leadership of the shell, I really want to help see these deserving players obtain their gear.

(Yay, gotta love it when a small mistake in Dynamis-Sandoria results in everyone being charmed and killing the people who were out of range!)

As for Sky, I haven't really pursued anything of late but i've definitely seen our shell award many of the members with abjurations galore. Its good to see some of the newer people also get abjurations, I think its a big moral boost when they join and can immediately start upgrading their characters. Our shell is now moving on to trying tp cannons on Kirin, and hopefully Friday we'll have a successful run. Lately i've been asked to come as PLD on my character which has been a lot of fun but I have to admit that being on my WHM was more convenient. And this friday, i'll probably get a chance to try the "DD" role. The leaders asked me to come as Xean and use his MNK because we've recently recruited more WHMs, so it'll be nice to have a change. I just hope that we can get a few W. Legs to drop because since being with my sky shell, i've never seen them drop and our two main PLDs Ketsurui and Myrrdin are definitely overdue. They deserve that drop so bad, I hope we get them >_<



Other than that, i've been able to obtain the Swift Belt for my melee jobs, though it doesn't look like i'll get to use it for a while. The static for my WAR (lvl 73) has been on hold, due to a friend Timwakefield taking a break from the game. Recently he told us to continue without him but we all promised to get him to 75 whenever he comes back. He's a really good Galka PLD, so it bites that we'll have to find a pickup tank for a while. But anyways, this static should be picking up in a week or two, so hopefully WAR will hit 75 within a month or two depending on how often our static lvls.

(Fighting one of the swift belt NMs, I got 1/1 on my trade!)

My SAM is the main focus i've had since I got back from my vacation. I want to get it to 75 so that I can have something else to merit with, but RL things always come up and I can never seem to get myself into a party. The biggest downer to FFXI is the time consumption, first you have to wait 1-4 hrs for an invite, and then you have to put hours into lvling just to get a lvl! GAH! At least i'm 72 now, so i'm almost there.... just need to find time to get a party.

Oh and a note to the gilbuyers of FFXI. I hate you. You people who have within a week raised the price of the Hagun by 700k, instead of letting the idiots who put it up for sale get it sent back into the delivery box, annoy me. The entire market of FFXI is dropping, things are not worth much anymore, and then you guys go screw things up by purchasing gil with your real life money and not caring that the Hagun is 700k more than it was just a few days ago, making the price raise for future sellers/buyers. Ugh....

In otherwords, Zerayla is going to be a gimp SAM until the Hagun drops a little because I'm not spending that much on a Hagun when everything else is dropping in price. I'll be patient and wait until it goes down, and use the rare/ex GK I got from sky recently until then. -_-

Oh and speaking of SAM, I got my Tachi:Kasha! Me and Xean skillchained for just over 2hrs (with short breaks) and I unlocked my trial weapon, and a few days later got some help from some LS members to go kill the NM.


And so the most recent fun activity that I did, was help Standpoint get his BLU AF3 fight done. We had to fight a mob that spams -ga spells, and knowing that we'd need to take it down asap I brought my SAM and decided to 2hr. Unfortunately the 2hr was a bit of an overkill, and Xean was disappointed because the fight only lasted about 10 seconds ; ;


Last, myself and Xean have joined a ToAU static with some LS members. We did mission#22 on Sunday to get one of our members caught up, and by the looks of things we should be able to complete the missions within 3 weeks or so. The fight for #22 was fun, though like the previous time me and Xean had done this, it didn't go according to plan. The plan was for one person to enter, die and then let the NPC tarutaru take hate as she killed the monster. The rest of us, would heal her. Well... I figured to speed things up i'd toss a Bio III. Lol. Smart. I ended up kiting for about 10 seconds before just deciding to take a death in hopes that we could still go with our plan, which actually did work... it just sucked that I made a stupid mistake >_<


Thats it for this update, there should hopefully be some good stuff to come soon because this month i'm going to try and get some LS events going again. Its been far too long since TheBrotherhood did a subligar race, or garrison and we need to take a break from the grinds and just hang out and goof around.